What are your dreams and aspirations? Wherever you are in life right now, pause for a moment and consider: am I where I want to be?
There is no right or wrong answer to this question! No seriously, if you are not, that is perfectly OK. In fact, it can be a positive thing to know that there is more to achieve, and that life offers many more challenges.
Have you observed the way children talk about their dreams? “I want to be a Princess!” “I want to be Superman!” “I want travel to outer space!” And when they talk about it, they really truly mean it! Because they have not been told yet, by parents, teachers, or society, that the world is separated into what is Possible, and what is Impossible. That some people can do certain things, that others can’t, that some people are good enough, and others always fall short. No, children’s dreams are in the purest form of faith, courage, and confidence. I am awe-inspired every single time.
As I look within myself, I consider what things I’d wanted to do when I was younger which I now consider to be out of the question. The point is not in the dream itself, but rather in the concept of trusting that- if I want to achieve something or become someone, then I will have the courage to do whatever it takes to move towards that goal. This does not mean I am purely being naive or idealistic. In fact, I can be perfectly aware of all the obstacles and reasons against why that is possible, and nevertheless, still pursue that dream because my heart and my intuition tells me that this feels right. This is about trusting myself to take all necessary actions despite knowing that failure is possible, and would be painful.
Sometimes, we are waiting for the right moment, or that’s what we tell ourselves: once my career is set, once I am financially stable, when I am in a stable relationship, when my children are out of the house and I can finally be free… So do dreams exist only in the future?
Why not now?
This is not meant to say that if your dream is to travel, that you should immediately quit your job and backpack to foreign lands. It does not have to be so dramatic or extreme (although if quitting and traveling is what you want, then by all means). Just sit down, write down your ideas, list some small steps that you can take, pick the path of least resistance, and get the ball rolling. Once you gain momentum, your motivation will naturally carry you through.
Somehow, over the course of growing up and becoming adults, we learn to settle into roles that society has created for us. There is a right way to live life: have a successful career, a stable intimate relationship, or something material like a big house, nice car, fancy vacations. But are those the things that you want? It is normal and awesome to want all of those things in life that bring us joy, but I’m asking you to challenge yourself and ask, “Hi, Self, if you were truly and purely who you are, what do you want in life?”
Maybe you don’t want a family right now, and to be responsible only for yourself. Maybe you’re the traditional workplace is not the right fit for you, and you want to set your own schedule and perhaps have multiple careers. Whatever your aspirations may be, accept them, take them seriously, and then ask, “Why not?”
A very common answer to that question, is Fear. Fear of uncertainly, of failure, of ridicule, of disappointment, of having wasted time. I don’t know what your dreams are, because everyone is entitled to their own and they can be as grand, unconventional, and complex as you want them to be!
So… fear… that’s it?
That’s not meant to diminish your feelings, but think about it, if the only thing stopping you from living the life that you want is this tiny knot in your stomach, tingling throughout your body, anxiety in your chest, then maybe we can find a way to work through that and move one step closer to living a full life. Do some research, talk to people around you who you admire, listen to some TED talks… inspiration is all around you.
It does not have to happen all at once, or in the next week, or year, or… whenever. Go at your own pace, but take small steps. Start by building a community around you of people who have the same urge to explore and discover their true selves, who have the courage to believe in themselves and challenge the status quo, and have the absolute Craziest, Wildest, Most impossible dreams and despite their fears, are moving forward!
If you have the feeling of being stuck or stagnant, a nagging sense that you are not where you’d like to be, that there is something better and a better fit for you out there in the world, then listen to yourself. What do you have to lose? If you experiment for a few months, and things don’t work out, then at least you know that this is not the one for you. So you can walk away cleanly, with no regrets, and move on to the next one.
It’s that simple, but it’s also the scariest thing in the world. I know and I understand- I work with clients who are experiencing similar things, and I personally continue to challenge myself to the same question.
But anything is possible! Really – if you can imagine it, then it is possible in your mind. And life is lived through perception. There are a lot of people in the world who think differently from you, but that doesn’t mean that what you think is wrong. Have the courage to be different, be yourself, create your own future, conquer your greatest fears.
The path to greatness has no shortcuts. You are torturing yourself if you are waiting for the “perfect” moment, the “right” moment, when you are no longer scared, because that’s why your dream is great – because not everyone can fully believe in themselves and take action.
So if you are in this space right now, then own it, and then reach out to people who will listen to you, support you, and help you achieve your aspirations.
Take some deep breaths, smile, things will all be OK.
And then, step out into the unknown, and trust that you will land where you were meant to be.
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